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Monday, December 13, 2004

Siesta

There are few better comforts during times of crisis than routine.

Most days, Mo wakes up about 9, pumps a few bottles of milk, watches two reruns of that sappy teenage melodrama “Dawson’s Creek,” then goes to the hospital about noon.

I’m up at a far more responsible hour to check e-mail and Red Sox gossip before work. Usually, I get to the hospital around 7, stay a few hours, then return home to blog.

I love to blog. It’s been a great outlet and catharsis, even though I’ve struggled with how much to disclose and felt compelled to marry hard facts with light humor.

That’s become an increasingly hard balancing act. For that reason, this could be the last entry for a while.

Will is doing OK, but the situation is becoming grim. I don’t know how much longer I can continue to write Oprah-like entries that make everyone feel better after a nourishing cry.

Ah hell. Who am I kidding? I can continue BSing for years. The truth is, Mo and I are uncomfortable sharing our private pains in such a public forum.

When we started the blog, we figured we’d get to take Will home by Christmas. Then, after a few weeks of sour reality, we hoped for Valentine’s Day.

Now, we’d be lucky to have him out of the hospital by Memorial Day.

We tell ourselves that, no matter what happens, we’ve been blessed with extra time with our son. We tell ourselves Will has taught us a million lessons and made us better people.
All are true, but it still hurts like hell.

We’ll get through this. Despite everything, we’re still happy people and, so far, we laugh more every day than we cry.

We’ve learned, too, that we may be unlucky, but we’re not alone. The more people we meet, the more we learn how many people carry tragedies under daily smiles.

There’s the guy from the parking garage whose brother is homeless and HIV-positive. There's a friend whose mother is delusional and the ones in the midst of breakups or divorces. There’s a co-worker whose daughter died after 3 months.

The list goes on. The heartaches may have different causes, but they all sting the same. Somehow, they all muddle through. We will too.

We appreciate all the nice comments, support and love everyone has shared with us. Who knows? The blogging urge could get the best of me yet this week, and we may change our minds.

For now, though, try to keep Will in your hearts, prayers and thoughts even if his progress isn’t scrawled across the Internet daily.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will keep all three of you in my heart,prayers and thoughts. Kathy Greco

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been following along the blog and think you've done a wonderful job with your postings. I wish you, Mo, and Will the very best. Love, Marge

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't signed in previously, but I've followed the blog postings faithfully and marveled at how eloquently you are able to express your feelings and love towards Will. The three of you have been in my thoughts and prayers daily and will continue to be. Love, Millie.

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's been wonderful not only keeping up with Will, but reading a really good essay every couple of days. You've developed a new art form here, and we've been loving it.

You two certainly deserve a break from the public eye. Thank you for being willing to take us on your journey this far; it's been a privilege.

Hugs and kisses to Will. Lotsa love to you.

Mom/Anita

6:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will keep you three in my thoughts. Thank you for being so willing to share these difficult experiences, now enjoy a siesta. May the Holidays bring miracles to help in this difficult situation. You clearly have been brave through all of this hardship, it's about time for some easier challenges. Merry Christmas!
Michelle

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have, like I am sure many, been reading and praying silently. I have shared your pain and joy and have looked forward to your words and progress. You are right that there are so many that carry their pain everyday and move through that day sometimes even though they truly do not want to. God bless your family and I will continue to check in and think of you all daily.
Love,
Lori Fortino-Franklin

10:01 AM  
Blogger Hedricks said...

I have to admit I miss your blog updates! It was the first thing I did every morning, and the last thing I'd do at night. You have given us all a precious gift by letting us share in your lives. God bless your family during the holidays!

7:15 PM  

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